Man Turns To Cannibalism During Traffic Snarl Up

Funny story written by D P Whitehead

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Man Turns To Cannibalism During Traffic Snarl Up
Greedy Bastard

A 33-year-old father of three has admitted to eating parts of his co-worker in what police have described as a 'justifiable act.'

Steven Charlton and colleague Ken Moore found themselves stuck in traffic on a jam-packed I-95 twenty miles north of Miami.

According to unverified sources, the 325 pound Charlton, having not eaten for an hour, believed he was starving death. Police have concluded he panicked and began gnawing on Moore's thighs, before devouring his left arm.

"They had been stuck in traffic for twenty minutes," said police spokesman Nell Gundy, "Charlton, who has a voracious appetite, and eats more than forty fast food burgers a day, felt his sugar levels dropping. It was a do or die situation."

Five minutes after chomping on his friend, traffic began to flow, allowing Charlton to take the next exit and, before taking his companion to an emergency room, was able to drive to a MacDonald's restaurant and purchase several beverages.

Friends of Charlton have stated that 'he has always been a fat greedy cunt', and they were not surprised that the glutinous slobby twat resorted to cannibalism.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more