Last night Mr. Trump and Sarah Palin met at Royal Star Super Burger, an Iowa diner, and the event turned into a campaign rally.
Hunkered down with super burgers, macaroni and cheese, plus diet Pepsis all was going quietly until somebody yelled: "Poor white lives matter too!"
Mr. Trump threw up an arm and this person, first name Jake, was escorted out of the diner, with shouts of "commie bastard!" and "what, is he Muslim?"
But then the Trump said bring him back to sit with him and Sarah in the booth.
Jake had garnered enough donations in the parking lot for a plate of fries with mushroom gravy, but Mr. Trump responded with "That's no good" and ordered him up a super burger and diet Pepsi.
Jake sat speechless and hardly ate anything due to his shrunk stomach, he said, and then Donald got up on the counter near the cash register to speak to the house.
He told everybody to listen up, that he was good for the tabs of the entire house. Jake deserved it, he said, and so did they.
The applause for this statement could be heard several blocks away, and some diners immediately added a second dessert to their bill.
Also, Mr. Trump went on, they must remember to get out the vote for him or that maniac Cruz could win, and hell he wasn't even born in this country.
"Doesn't he know what natural born means?" Donald shrieked, to great applause. "What kind of mother leaves America to have her child born somewhere else?"
Further, they must get out there on voting day. "Tired, sick, too old, on your death bed, it doesn't matter. It's important. Get out there, crawl if you must, and vote for ME!" he said.
At this point Mr. Trump received cries of "Sarah for VP!" and replied, "Well, guess what. We're talking Secretary of State!"
At this point Ms. Palin rose from the booth and bowed, smiling tenderly while murmuring, "And I will clear my emails with the FBI!"
Later it turned out Mr. Trump was seeking Ms. Palin's and Jake's views on additional top cabinet positions to include-
*Vice President: Ivanka Trump, Mr. Trump's daughter ("You will love her," Mr. Trump said.)
*Secretary of State: Sarah Palin. (Mr. Trump repeated this for emphasis and a second round of cheering.)
*Secretary of Defense: Bill O'Reilly, currently at FOX news.
*Secretary of the Treasury: shared by David and Charles Koch (aka the Koch brothers).
*Attorney General: Cliven Bundy, or maybe his son Ammon, who was doing such a fine job with constitutional challenges out in Oregon.
When Jake said maybe he could join in somehow, Mr. Trump ordered up an additional burger he could take home to the parking lot or wherever he was going to sleep that night.