If Trump Had a Hammer

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Thursday, 14 January 2016

image for If Trump Had a Hammer
"He'd sing about wingnuts, / He'd sing about crackers"

To be sung to the melody of "If I had a hammer"

If Trump had a hammer,
He'd hammer in the morning,
He'd hammer in the evening,
All over this land.
He'd hammer on Mexicans,
He'd hammer on Muslims,
He'd hammer at the love between
Our brothers and our sisters
All over this land.

If Trump had a bell,
He'd toll it in the morning,
He'd toll it in the evening,
All over Trump Land.
He'd toll about women,
He'd toll about immigrants,
He'd toll about the hate between
Himself and all the rest,
All over this land.

If Trump had a song,
He'd sing it in the morning,
He'd sing it in the evening,
All over this land.
He'd sing about the Alt-right,
He'd sing about Nazis,
He'd sing about the hate between
The whites and all the others
All over this land.

Well, we gave Trump a hammer,
And a loud bell to toll,
And a song of hate to crow
All over this land.
It's the hammer of loathing,
It's the clanging of fury,
It's the anthem of hate among
Trump's half-witted flunkies
All over his land.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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