Written by Paul Blake

Friday, 29 May 2015

image for Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad
This .34 cent record would make a lovely coaster for an end table.

Los Angeles, CA - Rapper .50 cent has apparently completed terms on a contract with retail giant Walmart, in an agreement to cross-market one and others brands. The Walmart folks want America to know that there is nothing that they can't cut the prices on, and to prove that to their loyal Middle-America shoppers, they have arranged for gangster rapper, .50 cent, to lower his moniker's price to a very low, blue-light special, .34 cent.

All music sold by the artist, now to be known only as .34 cent, will actually only cost his fans a very real .34 cents per song - this being the object of the company's promotion.

"Don't think of it as a sell out," said .34's reps, to the angry mob of fans gathering outside the announcement concert at NBC's Today Show, "think of it as getting the very same amount of .50 cent, but for a savings of more than thirty percent! And who doesn't like to save money when they can?"

No word yet if the Rapper plans to put thirty percent less effort into writing his songs. But, who's to say if anyone would ever really notice, anyway.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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