In a startling development, German authorities have discovered that 75 per cent of all refugees arriving over the last three months are Mexicans carrying false Syrian passports. Even more startling, links to Donald Trump have been uncovered!
Security police spokesman Hermann Gestapo made the announcement today in Berlin. "Ya, vee began to notice zat many of zee migrants ver carrying tortillas and zee tacos and had only zee vone eyebrow.. and zat was just zee vomen. Closer inspection of zeir documents revealed zey vere carrying zee false passports."
Gestapo revealed sinister links to Donald Trump by playing a video recording of an interview with one of the suspect refugees, whose passport named him as Rodriguez Al Rodriguez. Questioned on how he arrived in Germany Rodriguez said "Ola, my name eez Rahdriguez Al Rahdriguez, eey am from dee Syrian Quarter in Mechico Ceety. Meester Donald Trump I teenk eez a very fine man. 'E flew me and my fameely first class too Kos and 'e make us a nice 'otel room weeth a bideo. We hrrve a bery nice time ten Meester Trump 'e give us our Seerian passports. Den we walked too Germany. We hrrve a bery nice walk and God bless Meester Heetler for helpeen us."
Trump's press secretary has denied all knowledge of Rodriguez'claim but congratulated him on his choice of destination.
Investigation is continuing into the claims and we will report again as soon a new evidence comes to light.
