Wile E. Coyote destroys Road Runner in sick explosive gaffe

Written by KendoMonkey

Friday, 28 May 2010

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Road Runner was killed today in what is being described as a terrible accident. Nemesis Wile E. Coyote had apparently laid an obvious trap for the fast-legged avian but somehow managed to actually not do a half-arsed enough job, and killed the critter.

"It's a sad day for all of us," read Marshall Grant, Coyote's lawyer. "My client greatly admires Mr Runner - the respect between the two foes was very much mutual. My client deeply regrets the loss of a close colleague. He told me personally, that if he could go back in time and change the Ten-Tonne weight that dropped to a simple Ten-Kilo one, he would."

The trap, set to go off five seconds after the Road Runner had passed the roughly painted 'X' in the road, sadly managed to go off exactly on time.

Adam Savage, Ginger star of hit TV show Mythbusters is one of those most affected by the disaster.

"He couldn't have planned it even if he'd wanted to," Savage told us whilst swigging from a bottle of White Spirit. "We tried the exact same set-up as part of our Cartoon Myth Special last year - the problem with getting the timing right is that it flatly contradicts Zeno's Paradox. Even Jamie couldn't get a rig working that effectively targeted anything moving that fast.

"Can I just say: when they're cleaning up the mess - if they find an eyebrow, it's mine."

Coyote is currently in remand but is expected to be released overnight. The tragedy is being seen by the authorities as an accident.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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