Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 7 May 2015

image for Judge Rules That Wile E. Coyote Can Use Predator Drone To Attack Road Runner

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a preliminary hearing, Judge Amos Whitaker ruled that Wile E. Coyote be allowed to use an unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) to attack Road Runner. Despite arguments by Road Runner that this would give Coyote an unfair advantage and that it might cause him severe injuries that could end the cartoon series, Coyote prevailed. As a concession to Road Runner, Judge Whitaker ruled that the UAV and the Hellfire missiles mounted on the drone must be purchased from and be marked "ACME" in a area prominent to the casual observer.

Despite Attorney-to-the-Stars Gloria Pinchmouth's pleading that ACME Corporation was notorious for manufacturing mechanical devices and weapons that consistently malfunctioned when utilized by Coyote, Judge Whitaker cited the contract between the plaintiff and ACME to be exclusive.

As a footnote; this is the first time an unmanned aerial vehicle armed with a Hellfire missile system has been approved for civilian use. Up until now, only the USAF and the CIA have used them for offensive purposes in the Middle-East.

This had to go up the ladder to President Obama. In 2012, at the San Diego based Comic-Con International Convention, he told the raucous crowd that one of his first priorities in his second term would be to even the odds between Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner. Saying, "He was sick and tired of seeing the Road Runner humiliate Wile E. Coyote, and that the next "BEEP-BEEP!" he hears will hopefully be the last."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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