Sheldon Andelson buys George Soros

Written by Martin Jaeger

Sunday, 17 May 2015

"I don't know how it happened," Madge Filber, Sheldon Andelson's private secretary said. She scratched her right ear lobe where a pearl earring hung on a 4 inch chain.

"I was sipping hot water with lemon, in a large coffee cup, when Mr. Andelson asked me if he could buy George Soros."

"Well," Madge said,"maybe we could check E-Bay."

I thought for a while: should a look it up under "Soros," or "George Soros." Meanwhile Mr. Andelson, was behind me drooling on my neck. I could take so much so I went for the full name."

"Then," Madge continued,"I found it: George Soros, 4341 Park Place, New York, N.Y. For sale. Slightly Used. Cheap. 2 billion, Cash, payment to be sent to the "Broken Dream Foundation."

Warning. He keeps mumbling about Obama disappointing him, and the Republicans are no damn good. No one can handle the wars we're in. Where's Dwight Eisenhower, when you need him. He's depressed and don't know which way to go.

"Madge," Sheldon Andelson said, "buy him. I don't no what I'll do with him, but I've got everything. I might as well buy him. I'll miss him. He neutralized me."

Then he looked at Madge and continued. "Put him next to my John Wayne statue."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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