Florida Stands It's Ground

Written by Harry Klondike

Monday, 20 April 2015

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While Indiana Navy veterans have been hand wringing over whether or not the Religious Freedom Restoration Act/[S.B.568] would include past youthful indiscretions at sea; some eye-popping legislative initiatives in Florida have slipped right through the steamy humid crack of the political news coverage.

First the Governor of Fla. wanted to take the rational step of banning the term climate change. Yes, it might rape and pillage the constitution but let's face it, Al Gore is an ass hole and it's worth putting our most precious of freedoms right in the dust bin if it causes him just a two point increase in his blood pressure. Most hard core ecologist (ecologist the most radical of the environmentalist) are closet Gore haters. His skin- oozing of what appears bacon grease and his flubby frame, pursed lips- holier than thou disposition, makes the Fla. governors proposal understandable.

That said- there is now a new proposal to be tacked onto the already existing "stand your ground defense". Someone close to the governors office, unwilling to go on record said: "Florida needs tourist- simple as that. Someone wants to rob your house- you kill them- why not extend that notion? If one were to rob your state; shouldn't you be legally obliged to do the same?"

The hopes are that by October anyone of high public standing whether they be activist, or celebrities- (hell even the polar bear hugging Pope) is seen talking about the climate in any way other than how great the weather is- WATCH OUT! Floridians are packing heat! They're locked, loaded, and ready to blast your carbon footprint clean off the map- so tread carefully!

Come and enjoy the Sunshine State!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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