Energy Efficient Lighting Improves Sex Lives of Medical Examiners

Funny story written by Harry Klondike

Saturday, 28 March 2015


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Since 1998 there has been a baby boom among medical examiners and coroners. This, according to experts, coincides with the increased use of CFL and LED lighting. Psychologist believe that the ghastly cyanotic hue of the skin under these lights allows for an easier transition from the morgue to the bedroom.

Jenna Strauss, a psychotherapist specializing in marriage and family counseling said; "Stress is a leading cause of sexual dysfunction, so it stands to reason that those with a work week of 50-80 hours can find it difficult to make the transition from 'boardroom to bedroom'. We often put too much emphasis on decompressing and leaving work outside the home- but for some this isn't possible. Here is a case of intertwining two very different and distinct worlds in a way that puts the executive function of cognition in neutral, thus allowing for the more base passions to surface."

One M.E. who didn't want to go on record said that the lighting has made him so comfortable that he's been able to get rid of the metal gurney which was once his crutch for being able to perform. "My wife couldn't be happier!" he said.

Despite the improvement in marriages, environmentalist worry about the added children and their carbon footprints. As A. Gore (with the No Water for Humans initiative) said "I never thought I'd think this, but it makes me reconsider the incandescent light bulb."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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