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Funny satire stories about Bill De Blasio

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Funny story: NYC Subway Trains Fitted With Poor Doors For Half-Price MetroCard Holders

NYC Subway Trains Fitted With Poor Doors For Half-Price MetroCard Holders

New York City, NY - (Cheapskates): Low income New Yorkers traveling on half-price MetroCards will soon be herded into using newly-installed subway train poor doors, according to a City Hole press release. The roll-out of Mayor Bill de Blasio’s mas...

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Funny story: Fredo Cuomo To Conduct CNN Debate With De Blasio And Bullock In Three Hole Outhouse

Fredo Cuomo To Conduct CNN Debate With De Blasio And Bullock In Three Hole Outhouse

BILLINGSGATE POST: CNN announced today that Fredo Cuomo will conduct a Townhouse debate with New York Mayor Bill De Blasio and Montana Governor Steve Bullock, that will take place in a three-holer outhouse in Butte, Montana. Crowd control measures...

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Funny story: Jeffrey Epstein Invites Women’s Soccer Team To His Mansion

Jeffrey Epstein Invites Women’s Soccer Team To His Mansion

BILLINGSGATE POST: After turning down offers to visit the White House and the International House of Pancakes, the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team accepted an offer from Jeffrey Epstein to visit his mansion in New York City. A ticker-tape parade through...

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Funny story: De Blasio Pledges to Bring NYC Carriage Horses to White House if Elected

De Blasio Pledges to Bring NYC Carriage Horses to White House if Elected

After failing to follow through on the promise he made on the day he took mayoral office in 2014, to eliminate New York City's cruel and archaic carriage horse industry, Mayor Bill de Blasio has vowed to bring every last NYC carriage horse with him t...

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Funny story: Boxer Rebellion: Dogs Piss And Miss Mayor De Blasio’s Revolving Fire Hydrants

Boxer Rebellion: Dogs Piss And Miss Mayor De Blasio’s Revolving Fire Hydrants

BILLINGSGATE POST: Revolving fire hydrants: Sounds like a “can’t miss” solution to The Big Apple’s dog emission problem. Now that Mayor De Blasio has become the latest mutt to join the 20 or more dogs throwing their collars into the ring as De...

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Funny story: Mayor Brags that NYC Only Fifth-Worst City to Live In

Mayor Brags that NYC Only Fifth-Worst City to Live In

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio proudly announced that according to a recent U.S. News and World Report study, the Big Apple is only the nation's fifth-worst major city to live in, comfortably edging out hellholes like Fresno, Stockton, Modesto, a...

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Funny story: Revolving Fire Hydrants In NYC Causing Dogs To Fall Into Their Own Urine

Revolving Fire Hydrants In NYC Causing Dogs To Fall Into Their Own Urine

BILLINGSGATE POST: When Mayor De Blasio ordered City Park Superintendent, Detrick "Dirty Tricks" Detwiler, to replace all of the old fire hydrants along Fifth Avenue and Central Park, he had no idea of the uproar this would cause. Because he though...

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Funny story: 'It's Clinton-De Blasio 2016 or all bets are off' NYC Mayor tellls Hillary

'It's Clinton-De Blasio 2016 or all bets are off' NYC Mayor tellls Hillary

New York - NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio will be Hillary Clinton's 2016 running mate according to a secret deal forged by the Reverend Al Sharpton. De Blasio is sitting pretty as a firm 3/1 favorite to become Hillary's slave - ah, Veep! - after pushing...

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Funny story: Bill de Blasio 'like terrier on acid' says Ecuador's Rafael Correa

Bill de Blasio 'like terrier on acid' says Ecuador's Rafael Correa

New York - A cartoon of New York Mayor Bill de Blasio sporting demonic canine eyes has appeared on the Ecuadorian president's website marking the country's National Pet Appreciation Day. De Blasio, 69, is portrayed as a demented Scottish Terrier l...

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Funny story: Bill De Blasio's NYC Blizzard A Global Warming Damp Squib

Bill De Blasio's NYC Blizzard A Global Warming Damp Squib

New York - The Mayor of New York has been left hopping mad after falling for a classic 'Blizzard-of-the-Century' scam. Bill de Blasio shit down - oh, shut down - most of New York City on Monday night after the Snowmageddon card from the Major Arca...

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Funny story: Police Academy #666 the Curse of De Blasio

Police Academy #666 the Curse of De Blasio

New York - The latest sequel in the wildly successful Police Academy movie series is being shot in New York City under the direction of big screen legend the Reverend Al Sharpton. Starring NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio the opening scene was being filme...

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Funny story: Mandela funeral 'fake' sign language interpreter surfaces at Bill de Blasio conference

Mandela funeral 'fake' sign language interpreter surfaces at Bill de Blasio conference

New York - An Israeli impostor who wowed the world with a selection of random sign language rants at Nelson Mandela's televised funeral last year has surfaced again - at an Ebola conference in New York this weekend chaired by Mayor Bill de Blasio.

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Funny story: Thousands of venomous spiders drive Bill de Blasio and family from Park Slope home

Thousands of venomous spiders drive Bill de Blasio and family from Park Slope home

Brooklyn - New York's mayoral family the de Blasios have been driven from their Park Slope home by an infestation of venomous spiders that fell from the roof space and burst out of the bathroom walls. They've hunkered down at the official NYC mayo...

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Funny story: Bill 'Because I'm Worth It' de Blasio shrugs off $50,000 UK political conference speaking fee

Bill 'Because I'm Worth It' de Blasio shrugs off $50,000 UK political conference speaking fee

New York - The Mayor of New York is getting a fat $50,000 check to be the keynote speaker at next week's Labour Party Conference in Manchester, UK. Bill de Blasio's first class plane tickets, hotel suite and out of pocket expenses will also be rei...

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Funny story: New York Mayor Makes Political History by Offering Universal Pre-Kindergarten to Children and Retired Carriage Horses

New York Mayor Makes Political History by Offering Universal Pre-Kindergarten to Children and Retired Carriage Horses

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio recently made political history by announcing that free universal pre-kindergarten will now be available to all four-year-old children - and to retired New York City carriage horses of any age. Citing the cruel a...

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Funny story: NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

NYC Carriage Horses Start A New Business

The slogan? Buy beautiful blinders! The horses became entrepreneurs when Mayor Bill de Blasio indicated his dislike for the horse-and-carriage trade. Faced with losing their jobs, the NYC horses galloped onto another endeavor. After years of be...

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Funny story: De Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob

De Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob

Rome - Snubbed by The Holy Father, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio had a private audience with The Godfather on the first day of his Italian vacation. The meeting paid off immediately, with the mob boss agreeing to take over the operation of the New Yo...

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