DC law firm brought to its knees as $475million paycheck becomes $15million fine

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

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Well done Randy Mastro, Harry would have been real proud!

Washington DC - A famous Washington law firm that was on a 5% rake-off of a $9.5billion Ecuadorian pollution judgement is licking its wounds tonight after coughing up a $15million settlement to the litigation adversaries it had hoped to fleece.

DC lobbyists Patton Boggs had been promised a staggering $475million by NYC lawyer and convicted racketeering fraudster Steven Donziger in return for help in collecting the $9.5billion damages claim against US super major Chevron.

Earlier this year senior district judge Lewis Kaplan threw out Donziger's global collection scam and slammed his Ecuadorian pollution lawsuit as having been procured by coercion, blackmail, fraud and downright lies.

That civil racketeering lawsuit is now the subject of a secret federal probe amid reports that Parton Boggs has - albeit reluctantly - handed over vital documents to Chevron's lawyers as part of the $15million settlement it's had to make.

Those papers are thought to contain highly controversial evidence naming Donziger's racketeering partners and highly illicit attempts to collect the $9.5billion Ecuadorian award in Canadian, Brazilian and Argentine judiciaries.

Tonight a statement by Patton Boggs spoke of the company's deep regret at ever getting mixed up in Donziger's scam, an admission that's virtually unheard of in DC legal circles.

Commenting on the $15million settlement a source close to Chevron lead counsel and top notch NYC litigator Randy Mastro said, "Steven Donziger is toast."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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