Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 28 September 2014

image for Sour-ass Rockefellers swoop on Chevron's cast-off renewables
With a 50% government subsidy wind farms are currently a profitable scam

Wall Street, NYC - Punch-drunk on 30 years of pimping up the global warming hoax descendants of oil tycoon John D Rockefeller made yet another strategic move to shore up their dwindling asset base last week.

Brokers handling Chevron Corp's renewables portfolio sale reported Rockefeller Eco Fund managers 'swooped like gannets' on the super major's cast-offs on Friday.

The move comes amid criticism that the renewables industry is a totally fake market dependent on spurious government cronyism and hefty public subsidies.

But that hasn't been enough to put off the tycoon's descendants who have seen a disastrous 40% plunge in their chartiable fund's investment values, sparking dozens of sour grapes lawsuits.

"It's done nothing to claw back some street cred," a leading petroleum attorney said today, "nor the reported $20bn losses from their failed litigations."

Back in the 1980s the tycoon's family famously sold off a slew of oil leases in a deal that paved the way to the creation of present day Chevron Corp.

A 1984, $13.5bn acquisition of Gulf Oil by the super major saw the newly formed company's share price soar leaving a number of Rockefellers spitting venom as the true scale of their bad judgement was revealed.

Since then CVX common stock share value has skyrocketed by more than 1200% while the Rockefellers' investments have barely gained 30%.

Still, a southern states wind farm with a 50% US government subsidy remains a profitable scam in the current climate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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