Now You can Sell your Vote!

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

image for Now You can Sell your Vote!
Giving or Selling?

WASHINGTON. VOTES FOR SALE by order of Congress. Yes folks, it's finally here, on the back of the 1997 North Carolina ground breaking voluntary sterilization for women called "Project Prevention" that invited young women to have themselves sterilized for a modest reward of $300 tax free, your precious vote has finally joined the commodities market.

Yesterday, American Fuhrer Barack Obama passed a bill, with no resistance from Congress, that enables voters to sell their vote.

CONNED DAILY sent a reporter to the White House to ask more about it. The media so far has scarcely mentioned it. CNN slid it into the airwaves as a joking aside at the end of its late hour broadcast last night. It is however, a very serious matter indeed.

Explained Presidential spokesman Tod Schlange; "Democracy has progressed to the point where we see political parties as companies, more or less, with voters as share holders. Each vote is a share in the company. Therefore, in a capitalist world, which we all enjoy, we feel people should be able to buy and sell their share... or accumulate them as well, as they see fit. Our president has lifted the illegality of selling votes in what is undoubtedly a major progressive move for democracy."

"Well, surely that leaves democracy redundant because whichever party offers most money for votes must win. The richest political party must invariably win."

"Not necessarily. It is still the voter's choice to whom he or she will sell. Or if they choose to sell at all. They now have more options. And that's what freedom is all about, baby."

"Well,... er... money by itself will be a pass to political power."

"What else is new?"

"That doesn't seem fair."

"Pardon my laughing...", said Schlange. But... what has "fair" got to do with it? That is how America works... and most other democratic countries."

"But in our constitution... and I wish you could tell me what is so amusing Mr. Schlange... it states any citizen can stand for general election."

"Sure it does. And is not the rich dude "any citizen"? Name me one president who made it to the White House because of his dental work alone? It takes big bucks to run for office. Bigger bucks to stay there. Do you see any road-sweeps being selected as party candidates for the House of Representatives? Come on, dude, smell the coffee! The President has simply called a spade a spade and floated the vote as a commodity, a company share, like any other. Bravo! to him, I say."

Vote value, it seems, will be unilateral and determined by the Federal Reserve Bank much as the gold standard is fixed in London. This will establish a minimum rate per vote. Dealers however, can offer what they like in exchange for your vote. Parties would then have to bargain with the dealers just like they do in any other commodity market. They would, of course, field their own dealers.

The only stipulation is that any non-party appointed dealer MUST sell or exchange his shares during the election and attempting to withhold them in order to sway the balance of power will be deemed a criminal offence. He must also transfer his votes en bloc to only one party. All dealers will have to seek a governmental license in order to operate.

"Democracy has been waiting for this a long time," ended Schlange.

U.S. critics... and precious few of them there are, reckon it is just the final nail in the coffin of what was once thought of as 'democracy'... and a giant step towards the establishment of the New World Order.

What does it really mean? Basically, the poor will be led in a media war to put into power people they don't want and don't need. Music to the ears of Republicans everywhere. And this they will do willingly... for a few measly bucks. But, "what else is new?" as Schlange would say.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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