John Boner Switches Position On Gays

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 10 October 2014

image for John Boner Switches Position On Gays
CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE SHOUTS AGAINST GAYS

In the past, Speaker of The House of Representatives John Boner said," Listen, I believe that marriage is the union of one man and one woman," Boehner said. "All right. It's what I grew up with. It's what I believe. It's what my church teaches me. And I can't imagine that position would ever change."

But now Boner Republican Speaker of the House is supporting GOP candidates in the name of inclusivity this week when he is expected to stump for openly gay Republican candidates Carl DeMaio of California and Richard Tisei in Massachusetts who strongly advocate gay marriage Through his various fundraising committees, Boehner has donated the maximum $14,000 to both DeMaio and Tisei this cycle, records show.

Boner said his change of heart occurred when "I actually met a gay man who has a male partner and he didn't try to grope me or anything. Because I'm so handsome, in an orange sort of way, I was sure he was going to hit on me and he didn't. Actually, he seemed like he was a real human being. I was quite surprised."

However, the Christian conservative's Family Research Council and the National Organization for Marriage issued a joint statement which read," Not only will Speaker Boner now spend eternity in hell but so will the entire membership of the National Republican Congressional Committee who are funneling money to these deviants and preverts."

Said Reverend Pat Robertson, "I can't actually believe that Boner knows a gay man who is in a twisted, disgusting relationship. Now the GOP Speaker is supporting the hidden homosexual agenda to promote sexual anarchy and Marxist theories of perversion. Both the democrats and republicans will it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and a rain of flaming meteors to the United States because their support of abomination and deviance will bring God's wrath."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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