"Software Dementia" Now Recognized By American Psychiatric Association

Funny story written by Catchthisdrift

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

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Software Dementia sufferer during an episode.

Arlington, VA - The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has officially recognized "Software Dementia" as a legitimate mental illness and, as such, recommends the condition be covered by health insurance providers and be included under the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA).

Software Dementia is the condition under which the sufferer loses some or all of their ability to work with a software application anytime someone is watching them.

The person with the condition is immediately aware of the episode. Said one technology manager who was a participant in the APA's research "I can do just about anything with Excel. I consider myself generally an expert. But as soon as someone is looking over my shoulder or sitting next to me, I can't even create the simplest of formulas. Heck, sometimes I can't even enter numbers correctly."

The manager continued, "First I try to make light of it with some comment about it being one of those days. Then I start to get angry and embarrassed. Once in awhile I get so frustrated that I pick up my keyboard and slam it down on my desk and maybe drop an f-bomb. I think that is usually a bit unsettling to the person with me. I was trying to train an intern once and she ran crying from my office. She didn't come back the next day."

To observers, a person suffering a Software Dementia episode may appear to be unknowledgeable about that application or, in extreme cases, an absolute complete computer illiterate moron.

Unfortunately, although the APA has chosen to recognize the disorder, there is currently no recommended clinical treatment, and no cure. The only recommendations are for the sufferer to perform the work very slowly or make excuses as to why no one can over watch them work.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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