Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

image for Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy
Enfant horrible award now in its fourth year

This weekend's attack in Isla Vista is now being seen as akin to the Adam Lanza massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, which cost the lives of twenty children and six of their adult protectors.

The Isla Vista murderer, Elliott Rodger, has a count of six to his credit as well as his own life, while wounding thirteen additionally.

This latest in Isla Vista joins similar attacks such as Jared Lee Loughner's shooting of Gabriella Gifford and five others, including nine year old Christina-Taylor Green in 2011.

Another example of this type is the 2012 Colorado movie theater shooting which included eighty two shot with twelve dead. The shooter's apartment was also heavily wired with explosives.

Although these individuals may have reached maturity in terms of so much physical mass, their emotional stability is at the level of a five year old given to tantrums.

The number of mass shootings in the US is increasing from 5 per year in 2005 to 12 per year as of 2013. Many causes are being considered, including access to psychotropic drugs.

Most recently highlighted is the maturity-frozen-at-the-five-year-old-spoiled-child syndrome. This includes longings for weapons as toys and a vindictive view of a society that does not supply enough of what the killer wants.

Imagine your five year old with a pistol on you because you're not giving him his twinkies.

According to theorists on this problem, the notion of "freedom" in America has changed from its founding principles.

At that time "freedom" applied to maintaining political rights for the people in a representative government, not lifestyles of wanton indulgence.

The modern just-about-anything-goes view of freedom is thought to have played into Adam Lanza's isolation and his plan to out-do all other mass murderers in history at Newtown three years ago.

Using a special printer to record and track mass murders, Mr. Lanza intended to reach more deeply into the pit of human bestiality through both the numerical count and the innocence of his victims. Most were five or six years old.

Mr. Lanza is the current holder of the enfant horrible spoiled child award. However, last weekend's Isla Vista killer presents a strong challenge for the current year.

Mr. Rodger was sufficiently aggrieved over his unappetizing sexual appeal that he felt it necessary to avenge himself on sorority girls in general, as well as anyone else who happened to get in the way during his self-righteous spree.

Affluence and luxury goods such as automobiles and expensive firearms are apparently outweighed by the enfant horrible's difficulties in simply growing up.

Self-indulged, petulant, me-first behavior has typically drawn a low ranking in most of the "How boys and girls should practice dating" guide books.

The idea for this trophy is to acknowledge outstanding achievement in the spoiled rotten category of indulgent behaviors generally.

The enfant horrible award is also considered valuable due to the ease by which, historically, victims become masked as "collateral damage," second in importance to media coverage and merchandise-related sales.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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