American Grooms Exhausted!

Funny story written by Wumf

Sunday, 9 February 2014

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The Exhausted Grooms of Today

GATLINBURG, TENNESSEE - The picturesque city of Gatlinburg, located in the Smoky Mountains, is the #3 wedding destination in the world. 42,000 weddings are held here per year, and according to local wedding business owners, there is a new problem arising in modern weddings and it is escalating.

Is it the cost of the wedding? The choice of the wedding dress? Or the other myriad details involved in planning the special day? No, according to Jessica DeLeon, a wedding coordinator, it is exhausted grooms!

"In the past, weddings were mainly planned by women," explains DeLeon, "Usually the bride, her mother, perhaps a sister, grandmother, and of course, bridesmaids and the maid of honor were included. Grooms of the past had it easy. They usually just had to be fitted for a tux - which, at the most, took a few hours out of their busy lives - and the rest was handled by the bride-to-be."

According to DeLeon, the modern trend is so much different. Young brides, used to helicopter parenting, want that same level of involvement from their fiancees. They want their future husbands to participate in every single detail: choosing color schemes, flowers, food for the reception, music, and even the bride's entire trousseau.

"So many of the grooms are not used to such a grueling schedule, particularly one that involves a lot of shopping," muses DeLeon. "The poor guys. Although many tell me they work out regularly at a gym, they are confiding they are not really up to the physical demands involved in planning a wedding. Then there are all the wedding showers. They are expected to attend those multi-hour functions and even play all those party games!"

The upshot? By the time the wedding day rolls around, the groom can barely make it down the aisle. The weary groom barely has the energy to get through the ceremony, let alone dancing and partying at the reception. The real tell-tale sign? The curious fact that brides are confiding their grooms are sleeping through their wedding nights, and it sometimes takes days for the husbands to recover enough to enjoy their honeymoons.

"We're not sure how to help these beleaguered grooms," states DeLeon, "but something better change, or the males of tomorrow may become much more reluctant to take that long walk down the aisle."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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