Top 1% Gains Illusory, says Stanley Morgan

Funny story written by Smart Blonde Bimbo

Sunday, 22 December 2013

The gains tallied in the economic reports on the Bureau of Economic Analysis are all illusory, says Stanley Morgan. They were all paper gains, and are in no way connected to the self-worth of those whose incomes are above the line that pegs them at the top one percent.

"It's just as we suspected. Somebody fat fingered an entry into a trading log attached to their self worth, and about 1.5 volts at an unnamed milli-amp traveled down several wires, reaching other wires containing the same amount of volts and joining still other entries along other wires, until a critical mass was reached".

As such, the stocks attached to the fat fingered entries soared.

These amounts were so small they could not be detected with the naked eye, and the Byzantine Fault Tolerances built in were not aware of these errant, fat fingered entries until they hit the balance sheets of random people who weren't worth anything outside of their outsize balance sheets.

No corresponding cash matching these entries was spotted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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