Why The World Is Getting Cooler, Not Warmer!

Funny story written by Bureau

Sunday, 5 January 2014

image for Why The World Is Getting Cooler, Not Warmer!

In an important publication recently released, it states that an international research expedition to the Southern Ocean has confirmed that if it were left alone, the global climate would be naturally heading towards another ice age.

"We're headed towards an ice age but our (man's) presence here has delayed it but not for good", stated Professor John Tarrance. Cores of marine sediment going back several hundred thousand years has confirmed that in the pattern of climatic fluctuations, we had passed the mid-point of an inter-glacial cycle and were now heading slowly towards a glacial period."

Australian climatologists were on board the German research vessel Sonne along with German, French and New Zealand scientists and they agreed with Tarrances observations.

The climatic changes recorded in the marine sediments fitted the theory that these long-term climatic fluctuations between ice ages and warm periods are caused by variations in the Earth's orbit around the sun, known as the Milankovitch theory. But these are slow changes, however, so it would be tens of thousands of years before the Earth hits the peak of another ice age. (Quote from The Frontiers of Climatology).

To get away from all the scientific jargon, the earth is very, very slowly going into an ice age but that could be thousands of years from now.

"So don't sweat it", joked Thiede.

"Look around you people. Anyone can get a group of followers and take your money and cause you to lose your job at coal plants but there is nothing practical to use in it's place. Maybe soon. But it's thousands of years away."

"Also look into your mirror. Are we fatter of slimmer than we were 20-40 years ago? Our bodies know what's coming. So it is storing up fat."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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