A Teary-Eyed Megyn Kelly Talks About The Divorce Rumors

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

NEW YORK CITY - Megyn Kelly has been in the news more in just the past few weeks than she has in her entire career.

The FOX News talking head, as Vice-President Joe Biden dubbed her, has been criticized and in some cases praised for her outlandish remark that Santa Claus is white.

National Focus Magazine reported that Megyn has received over 90 photographs of Santa's that are not white and who reside in such locales as Harlem, Detroit, Chattanooga, Zimbabwe, Botswana, and Lower Zamgola.

Durango Tucker recently spoke to the 43-year-old dishwater blonde.

He asked her how it felt to be both loved and hated at the same time. She smiled and said that she now knows how New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady feels.

Kelly added that she wants to address the rumor that apparently started in Delaware that she and her husband of 5 years Daniel "Cupcake" Kendall are getting a divorce.

She stated that although Cupcake was not exactly thrilled with her Santa is white remark he supports her and has told her that he will always support her unless of course she were to go on drugs and rob a convenience store or a bank.

Megyn said that her first marriage ended up in divorce court and it devastated her since her ex-husband claimed that she divorced him on grounds that she was just way too pretty for him.

Kelly paused for a moment. She dabbed away a teardrop and remarked that she does not know what she would do if Cupcake were to ever divorce her.

She did say that he would really have to be an absolute dumbass jerk to divorce such a stunningly beautiful and erotically sexy woman as her.

SIDENOTE: Megyn told Durango Tucker that for Christmas her husband gave her a $200 gift certificate to Victoria's Secret so she knows that Cupcake still enjoys their mattress merriment moments.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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