IRS considers equal tax treatment for intra-species marriages

Funny story written by Moose

Friday, 30 August 2013

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Intra-species couples will be allowed to file joint federal tax returns, the same as married heterosexual human couples, the Treasury Department and Internal Revenue Service announced Thursday.

The new policy allows intra-species couples to claim marriage-related exemptions, credits and deductions even if they live in jurisdictions that don't recognize human-animal unions. Like human heterosexual spouses, intra-species couples will be required to declare "married filing jointly" or "married filing separately."

Treasury Secretary Jack Lew said in a statement that the move "assures intra-species couples that they can move freely throughout the country knowing that their federal filing status will not change."

Intra-species couples expressed relief Thursday:

"We're just so overjoyed about not having to experience that negative feeling of not being a legitimate family," said Geraldine Artis, who lives in Connecticut with her Labrador husband and two teenage mutant children. "We're looking forward to the experience of filing our taxes jointly and being treated as a family."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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