Giant Chris Christie-shaped fatberg menaces NYC drains

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 20 December 2014

image for Giant Chris Christie-shaped fatberg menaces NYC drains
The fatberg has grown to over ten tons and looks a lot like Goc Chris Christiie's face

New York - A ten ton post-Thanksgiving fatberg composed of congealed turkey fat, wet wipes and human gunk is threatening to bung up New York City's sewers just in time for the festive holiday break.

Emergency sanitation engineers charged with removing the putrid blockage said they first noticed the similarity between the New Jersey Governor's chubby cheeks and the fatberg last Friday.

Since then a series of court orders has banned anyone from posting pictures or making comparisons to the masssive glutinous mound following threats of a lawsuit from Governor Christie.

"Any resemblance is purley coincidental," the New Jersey gubernatorial orifice tweeted today as sewage technicians equipped with thermic lances started on the horrible task of blasting out the cack.

Work is expected to continue for at least another two days amod reports that a second fatberg clogging up Upper West Side near Columbus and 84th is channeling the spitting facial image of New York Mayor Bill de Blasio.

"It's a real up-and-coming fatberg Mount Rushmore down here," City sanitation engineer Buddy Bongle commented, "who knows what other polticians faces are forming right here under our noses as we speak."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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