Written by janet eve josselyn

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Pope Francis shocked reporters on Monday when he stated that he was "comfortable" with gay men as priests, but was quick to point out that this largesse did not extend to ordaining women to the priesthood. "Gay men may be flawed in the eyes of God, but at least they are still men. Women are not men and they never will be. Period."

Constance Cirvone, a gay Catholic from Boston, was heartened that the Catholic Church had softened its stance on gay priests, but was disappointed for women who also wanted to become priests. She likened the Catholic Church to an ocean liner saying that "it takes a long time to turn an ocean liner around and some ocean liners never turn at all. Some, like that Concordia just lose power then all the toilets get backed up and there's feces running up and down the corridors. It's really gross."

The Pope told reporters that he desired "a more profound role for women in the church," but not one that is as profound as donning the priestly vestments. "The Roman Catholic Church is making great efforts to reach out to peoples who find themselves marginalized. We are planning more bake sales for the women in the future," the Pope stated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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