San Franciso bans nekkidness--'All nekkidness'

Funny story written by Francois Dubois, S.J.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for San Franciso bans nekkidness--'All nekkidness'
The statue of Venus de Milo had a sheet wrapped around her naughty bits as a result of San Franciso ban on nekkidness.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (ABSNN) - The City Board of Supervisors of San Francisco voted 6-5 Tuesday to prohibit Bay Area residents ever again getting nekkid. Even showering in the nude is now a felony crime.

"All forms of nekkidness is hereby and forever against the law," said Scott Wiener, a city supervisor. Mr. Wiener was nude with the exception of a very trendy codpiece his life partner made from a Chivas Regal whiskey gift bag.

Residents of the heavily gay Castro District were not pleased by the action.

"We led the nation in nekkidness for more than forty years," said Francois Dubois, S.J. (who, by the way, contributed to this report).

"I want to point out that most Americans bathe nekkid, and we here in Castro intend to defy the law in an effort to be arrested and tried in a court of law so that we may then appeal the ruling to the US Supreme court," Dubois said. "Although that royal blue, Chivas codpiece is just divine."

Local maternity hospitals are stocking up on prenatal birth wear since newborns delivered in the nude will be arrested should they make their initial appearance in the nude.

The ruling also affects the adult film industry which was just ordered to force male actors to wear condoms while performing sex acts on videos.

"Jesus Christ, who wants to see a film of two people dressed dry humping each other," asked one unnamed porn star.

We will keep you informed (and let you know where you can stock up on codpieces).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more