Inspired by recent breaking news in anal-tattoing, it's now believed Donald Trump first advanced the idea of a national seal in that specific anatomical location--as a proof of citizenship.
This seal (specially designed tattoo) will serve as a first line of defense for homeland security. Mr. Romney immediately seized on the idea because he knew the power of it in terms of the vibrant energy it would generate when he announces this particular plan at the GOP convention.
Additionally, advancing technology in procto design engineering indicates each citizen's tattoo would not only certify citizenship but also emit electronic footprints working hand in glove with security scanners at airports, etc.
These special tattoos, it is explained, emit nothing toxic and no odors (at least usually), and have no physical effect otherwise (most of the time).
Each citizen-bearer of the official RRump (short for Romney-Trump) Seal, as it's called, will have a choice of the following designs:
*digital code
*image of one's own hairstyle
*American flag (miniaturized)
*Birth certificate (miniaturized)
Speaker of the House John Boehner has responded, "We are all eager to hear more of Mitt Romney's plans to lead us into a restored America, safe and sound again!"
