GOP Insider: Lloyd Blankfein Will NOT Be Secretary of the Treasury

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 26 August 2012

image for GOP Insider: Lloyd Blankfein Will NOT Be Secretary of the Treasury
Too big to crash

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has disclosed to an anonymous source that he probably will not appoint Lloyd Blankfein to the office of Secretary of the Treasury. Blankfein is CEO of Goldman Sachs, one of the nation's most distinguished financial enterprises.

But whether the rumor that Mr. Blankfein, having heard of the possible appointment, had unwittingly disclosed the idea of running a credit default swap scheme on the nation's economy has nothing to do with Romney's thinking at this time. The Romney source was vigorous on this point.

Rumors had been circulating that as Secretary the enterprising Mr. Blankfein might also engineer a bet on US economic decline toward deeper recession, which could bring valuable income (although distribution of that income is uncertain) when this bet paid off. As to Goldman Sachs' record, for which Mr. Blankfein has been instrumental in developing, according to the Romney representative, there is nothing in that history to be concerned about.

The source continued that, although Mr. Romney has few agreements with the Obama administration, the recent decision not to prosecute Goldman Sachs (nor previously AIG, Countrywide, Citibank, JP Morgan, Bank of America, and Freddie Mac), was to be applauded in the interests of this country's keeping its fiscal policies sound.

After all, the financial elites and Wall Street in general are, as is well known, "too big to fail." Prosecution for such matters as designing and marketing CDO's that created conflict of interest and exploitation of their customers' losses is not significant enough to bother with, due to any damage that might occur to these corporations under the "too big to fail" principle.

Asked whether the term "fraud" might apply in these cases, spokespersons for Romney and Holder hummed and then hawwed. Not so, according to Mr. Holder's office, based on the most meticulously bold, tenacious, and exhaustive investigations that have been conducted sparing none in pursuit of a decent accounting on what has taken place, and justice for all.

There is simply nothing to the common notion that Wall Street "ran away with the purse," so to speak, leaving ordinary taxpayers with bailing out the 2008 financial crisis, and leading toward current political notions to cut social programs to finance further corporate and military endeavors.

"Not at all, not at all," stated both parties' spokespeople. "The idea that we politicians are in the pockets of Wall Street is inaccurate and misleading, and has never had any historical accuracy, even clear back to the 19th century."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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