State merger proposed

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

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At the end of the reoganisation, there will be only 35 States of America - far easier to learn

In a bid to simplify the teaching of the states, a new proposal has been put forward to merge some states.

"Why do we need a North and South Dakota?" asked Dee Sentrale, head of a Californian PR firm. "So we will be merging them into just Dakota. The same will happen with North and South Carolina."

It is also proposed to merge West Virginia into Virginia, although the people of West Virginia are said to be a little upset, as their neighbouring state will not have it's name altered, leaving them feeling picked upon.

Even more contentious is the proposal to merge New Mexico into Mexico.

"I don't like that idea at all," said Ricardo Espirito. "Think of all the sudden influx of immigrants coming into our towns, taking jobs and the like. Additionally, there's the economy to consider. They're terrible at managing their economy. As the Head of Immigration in Mexico, I can say I'm against this idea, and we should have been consulted."

Arkansas and Kansas will also be merged, but as their borders are not contiguous, either Oklahoma or Missouri will also have to be merged in. There is currently a ballot in the two states to decide which one it will be.

"Our final step in the proposed merger," said Sentrale, "is to increase the size of those tiny little states on the Eastern Seaboard, to bring them more in line with the other states in terms of population."

To accomplish this, Maryland and Delaware will be merged into Washington DC and called Columbia, to avoid confusion with the other Washington on the Western seaboard. Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine will all be merged into New York, with New York retaining it's name so as not to require the renaming of the Sinatra song.

"We don't know what we're going to do with New Jersey," said Sentrale. "But then, nobody ever really has known what to do with New Jersey."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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