Summer and Winter Olympics to be merged in 2020

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

image for Summer and Winter Olympics to be merged in 2020
Bradford's Toboggan team practising neat Barnoldswick

With the massive costs associated with hosting the Olympics, the Olympic committee has decided that the Summer and Winter games will be merged into one Olympics. This will mean the introduction of ice skating, skiing and snowboarding events to the main Olympics.

"We estimate that this will increase the cost of the Summer Olympics by five percent," said Seb Coe, who ran the successful London 2012 Olympic bid, and the fifteen hundred metre in the eighties. "This is a massive saving over all, and a good move as far as I can see."

This does mean that countries without the facilities for skiing, ice-skating and other sports requiring cold weather, will be ineligible for hosting the Olympics. Countries now excluded include the home of the Olympics, Greece.

"This is a snub on the Greek people," said Pseudopodia Ramsay, who was putting together the bribes for the Greek bid. "We are the original host country. If it wasn't for the Greeks, there would be no Olympics. It would be called the World Games, or something similar. Where's the kudos in that?"

The Olympic Committee have said that they don't take Kudos, or any other Greek currency.

The 2016 Olympics is to be held in Rio, Brazil, a country not normally associated with it's snow sport prowess, and will be the last split Olympics to be held.

"I think the 2020 Olympics will be held in the USA," said Coe. "They've applied for both Summer and Winter Olympics. Canada have also applied, but after the Vancouver fiasco when they couldn't arrange the right weather, I don't think the Olympic Committee will be taking them further."

Coe is hopeful that Britain will still be able to compete for future Olympics.

"Britain has some of the best summer time skiing of any country in Europe," he said. "There are indoor ski slopes across the country that can easily used for downhill, slalom and snowboard events. Although we may have to put a hole in the roof and a big crash mat outside for the ski-jumpers."

The toboggan and luge events are slated to take place on a grass slope in the Pennines.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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