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Funny satire stories about Merger

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Funny story: 3 Large Corporations To Merge into The Beast

3 Large Corporations To Merge into The Beast

In what scriptural scholars agree is a sure fire sign of the end of times, the heads of three giant communications companies skyped each other in a secret illegal collusioney meeting, which was somehow leaked five minutes later, most likely through t...

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Funny story: State merger proposed

State merger proposed

In a bid to simplify the teaching of the states, a new proposal has been put forward to merge some states. "Why do we need a North and South Dakota?" asked Dee Sentrale, head of a Californian PR firm. "So we will be merging them into just Dakota.

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Funny story: GE to Buy Phurken Industrial Plumbing Supply

GE to Buy Phurken Industrial Plumbing Supply

Financial industry insiders from a shared mergers and acquisitions cubicles in the sub-let financial offices of the Katz Deli basement, today reported a General Electric leveraged buy out of family owned Phurken Industrial Plumbing Supply. Private...

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Funny story: Summer and Winter Olympics to be merged in 2020

Summer and Winter Olympics to be merged in 2020

With the massive costs associated with hosting the Olympics, the Olympic committee has decided that the Summer and Winter games will be merged into one Olympics. This will mean the introduction of ice skating, skiing and snowboarding events to the ma...

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Funny story: Clorox Washes Off Icahn's Takeover Bid

Clorox Washes Off Icahn's Takeover Bid

Cleansing themselves of continued efforts to buy their company, the Clorox board of directors chose to stage a dramatic answer to Carl Icahn's $18 Billion offer, by ceremoniously removing stained T-Shirts with Icahn's name on them, and tossing them i...

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Funny story: Clorox Claims Icahn's Offer and Shirt Aren't Clean Enough

Clorox Claims Icahn's Offer and Shirt Aren't Clean Enough

Rejecting the $12.6 Billion offer from investment guru, Carl Icahn, Clorox Company representatives claim that Icahn's offer could have been better, if it had been prepared properly in advance of the media wash and spin cycle. Commenting on the ter...

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Funny story: Wall Street Caught Napping as Barnes & Noble Merges with Baby Gap Stores

Wall Street Caught Napping as Barnes & Noble Merges with Baby Gap Stores

Rejecting Liberty Media's latest bid for the struggling book store chain, Barnes & Noble has announced the acceptance of a deal from The Gap that will merge current bookstore locations with clothing and accessories from Baby Gap specialty stores.

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Funny story: Cunard Ship Lines To Merge With Aero Lingus To Create New Travel Giant Cun-A-Lingus

Cunard Ship Lines To Merge With Aero Lingus To Create New Travel Giant Cun-A-Lingus

A new transportation giant will be created when Cunard Ship Lines merges with Aero Lingus. The new company, to be named Cun-A-Lingus, will be the largest company of its type in the world. Richard Licker, a spokesman for the merged company, said th...

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Funny story: Celtic and Rangers to merge in order to join the English Premier League

Celtic and Rangers to merge in order to join the English Premier League

Glasgow Celtic and Rangers have requested to be part of the Premier League next season, but such a move would mean two teams disallowed from promotion from the Championship, which has angered several teams from Norwich to Nottingham Forest. "They...

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Funny story: Major Airline Merger Announced

Major Airline Merger Announced

British Airways and Spanish airline Iberia have signed a deal to merge and create one of the world's biggest airline groups. The merger, which was provisionally agreed in November last year, is expected to be completed by the end of this year.

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Funny story: Possible JJB Sports and JD Sports merger referred to Competition Commission over the letter J

Possible JJB Sports and JD Sports merger referred to Competition Commission over the letter J

Talks between high street rivals JD Sports and JJB Sports regarding a possible merger have been held up by a referral to the UK Competition Commission. The concern is that a merged company would control the majority of the Js in the UK sportswear ma...

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Funny story: Pork Futures Skyrocket on Revlon-Cargill Merger

Pork Futures Skyrocket on Revlon-Cargill Merger

U.S. commodities markets were shocked over the news this afternoon about the pending merger between livestock producing giant, Cargill, with makeup powerhouse, Revlon. In perhaps the most unlikely of partnerships, pork futures rose sharply in heavy...

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Funny story: Carpet and Drapery Companies Merge; Male Customers Excited

Carpet and Drapery Companies Merge; Male Customers Excited

Long thought to be an interior decorating problem if the home or apartment owner was looking for a singular Bauhaus or Feng Shui look, the problem was solved last month as Mohawk Carpet and Bush Drapery companies completed their merger. "It was di...

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Funny story: Harley Davidson to Merge with Yamaha

Harley Davidson to Merge with Yamaha

Shocking the biker world both here in America and back in Japan, Harley Davidson has agreed to sell 51% of its shares to Yamaha Corporation in exchange for a much needed influx of capital. The Milwaukee based iconic motorcycle manufacturer was for...

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Funny story: Yahoo to Fight AOL Based on Name Change Alone

Yahoo to Fight AOL Based on Name Change Alone

Nobody on Wall Street was surprised to learn of the takeover attempt by AOL over Yahoo, but a fight seems to be brewing over the proposed name for the combined companies. Industry insiders say that the friction created by the poorly chosen name...

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Funny story: Pharmaceutical Giants Merge to Produce Popular Combo-Meds

Pharmaceutical Giants Merge to Produce Popular Combo-Meds

Long thought to be a hard sell to the rigid Securities and Exchange Commission, pharmaceutical giants Pfizor and Kings Medical will apparently complete their merger this week while also preparing to introduce a new line of specialty drugs to market.

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Funny story: Liverpool and Everton to merge?

Liverpool and Everton to merge?

The new owners of Liverpool FC have noted that the fan base for the club is not as large as it could be, and have put this down to there being another Premiership club just across the park from Anfield. "We have put an offer in to buy Evertone," s...

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