Perry Finally Remembers Third Blonde He'd Cut from Herman Cain's Staff

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 10 November 2011


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Sadly, no Reagan in this pool of pundits.

Following the republican candidate debate at Oakland University where Governor Rick Perry had trouble remembering the third blonde woman he would recommend cutting from Herman Cain's staff, Perry finally blurted out the name of the woman in a follow up press conference when asked what he would do first as president.

The second gaffe of the evening had Perry scrambling to explain why his memory may have gone soft, blaming the lack of available Ginkgo Biloba on the plane, and the stress of having to ride through Detroit on his way to OU, 50 miles north of the airport. "It's that damn rule of threes", said Perry. "Third federal program to cut, third Herman Cain assistant to fire, third thing I don't like about Romney, I just can't remember what comes after two".

Herman Cain hoped to dodge the whole alleged harassment issue at the debate until Perry forgot about which programs and jobs he'd cut, and shifted the conversation towards Cain's female staffers. Perry pointed off stage and commented, "I sort of like that one on the left, let me remove that distraction from your staff and put her on mine".

It was hard to find any good mixed in with the bad and ugly at the OU debates, apart from the fact that Romney didn't seem to lose any ground. The bad and the ugly, namely Cain and Perry, have most likely seen their last days on the campaign. Political pundits find the recent developments a bit sad really, because the extremists like Bachmann, Cain and Perry make the republican campaign trail entertaining, if not litigious.

As for Perry's rule of threes, he promised to try harder to remember those people's lives he intends to impact at the next press stop, and corrected himself once again by stating that his first order of business as president is NOT to do his new blonde assistant stolen from the Cain campaign. "I'm a happily married man", said Perry who followed with, "Thank God I only have two children".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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