NFL Commissioner David Stern and NFL Player Rep Derek Fisher Both State That Herman Cain Needs To Drop Out of The GOP Race

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 10 November 2011

image for NFL Commissioner David Stern and NFL Player Rep Derek Fisher Both State That Herman Cain Needs To Drop Out of The GOP Race
An undribbled basketball - one of thousands in the NBA arenas. (Photo courtesy of Manu Ginobili).

NEW YORK CITY - All of the NBA basketballs are sitting tucked away in their respective basketball lockers and the way things are going they are probably going to remain there for a while.

In this day and age when so many American people are out of jobs it truly boggles the mind how multi-millionaire owners and multi-millionaire players can sit around and argue about silly things like the length of basketball shorts, the color of basketballs, and the incessantly boring song "The Banana Boat Song" which is played at every damn arena at least three times per game.

Yes, while the owners and players sit around in thousand dollar suits arguing the fact that some players want to be allowed to wear football helmets some of the NBA's biggest diehard fans are starting to turn to watching television shows like The Cake Boss, Khloe and Lamar, Celebrity Rehab, Cupcake Wars, and The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

Lets face it, the lockout is not hurting the owners and it is certainly not hurting the players some of who have contracts that pay them anywhere from 6 million to 20 million dollars to do something that simply requires doing what God has graciously given them the ability to do.

The lockout hurts the average worker who makes a living by working at the arenas and selling tremendously overpriced tickets, extremely overpriced hot dogs, and ridiculously overpriced beer just in order so that the owners can afford to pay these extremely exorbitant multi-million dollar contracts to some players who have so much money that they can't even count that high.

And let's face it, if NBA basketball players were not playing professional basketball what would they be doing? And lets give them the benefit of the doubt and say that some would be doctors, lawyers, and accountants.

But lets also be honest and agree that not one of them, not a one with the two possible exceptions of Tim Duncan and Dirk Nowitzki would be making the astronomical amount of money that they make for simply dribbling the ball on the court and tossing the sucker in the friggin basket.

One thing for sure. Some of the round ballers are not to good at arithmetic because even if the lockout was to be settled right now, they would never recoup the amount of money that they have already lost by having games cancelled through the month of November.

So in essence they are tossing away tons of money to get a few ounces of it. Oh where oh where did common sense 101 go?

And now with the country focused on Brother Herman Cain and his "PizzaGate" antics the NBA issue has been relegated to the back pages. It has gone from the front burner to the back burner.

For all of their differences David Stern and Derek Fisher do agree on one thing. They both know that Herman "The Player" Cain better drop out of the GOP race and drop out soon so that the focus of the American people can get back on the NBA situation and not on wondering what one silly black cowboy hat-wearing GOP presidential candidate may have said or done to 1,2,3,4, and 5 (so far) white blonde women.

Louisiana stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree summoned it up pretty damn good when he said, "What da hell Herman, get out of the GOP race now bro, save your money, you and everyone else knows dat there ain't no way in hell dat you are gonna beat Rick Perry or Mitt Romney - it ain't gonna happen dude, no way, no how, and dat's what I be talkin' about fa shizzle ma nizzle."

SIDENOTE: From the 'World of Amazement' comes word that one NBA player, who shall go nameless, and who plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers, has reportedly applied for food stamps.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more