Obama Apologizes to UN Security Council

Funny story written by patrick oliver griswold

Monday, 24 October 2011

American UN diplomats presented detailed intelligence to support charges that Iran plotted to assassinate Saudi Arabia's ambassador to the United States. The evidence indicates Abidjinadad had first hand knowledge of the plot as early as February of this year. Asking that the Security Council investigate and sanction Iran for violations of International Law, Ibin al Luhkin Ahtu, of Saudi Arabia, president and chairman of the UN Security Council wrote in a statement:

"I spoke to the president of Iran yesterday and he told me he didn't do it. He asked me to send a message to Barack Obama, offering his condolences for the US having such a rotten ally in the Israelis. He went on to say that Obama had better stop libeling the great Nation of Iran or he would be really sorry. 'We be messin' yu up, muddah fahkah'". Abahjinadad said this while making a hand and arm gesture familiar only to the citizens of New York.

The newest member of the Security Council, Syria's new president Ackhbar Al Queda Skru-yaal, had this to say, "I keel you!!!! Rotten American dogs! You Satan!!!!" Ahmal-Scruudup Endahhed, newly installed UN ambassador from the new nation of Palestine, seconded the motion.

Another senior member of the UN Security Council, Utinkh Ahm-Stoopidh of Pakistan, admonished the United States, suggesting America is full of racists and is Islamophobic. He called on CAIR in the United States to file a $30 trillion dollar lawsuit for blasphemy against the great state of Iran. Raul Espinoza Ortega, ambassador to the United Nations and cousin to Venezuela president, Hugo Chávez, seconded the motion, calling for the heads of all "filthy pig Americans".

Secretary General Ah Hateh Youh, called for a vote on the Security Council's floor to censure the United States for being insensitive, bigoted, and deliberately hurting the feelings of Muslims worldwide. Mr. Youh's delegation had also drawn up a proposal outlawing any American citizen from using any language, gesture, or thought that is construed as ridiculing or defaming Islam. He stated the Council demanded that the US White House implement the proposal immediately. He indicated should the US implement Sharia in the American legal system that Muslims would thank President Obama.

White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, reported today that in response to the upset America has caused the Great Body of the UN Security Council and Islam, President Obama will speak to the Security Council on Friday, offering his sincerest apologies and will bend over, I mean really, really, bend over to show his sincerity and his allegiance to Allah.

President Obama will also take the opportunity to show members of the Council the new flag design for the US that his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, has created. He was especially proud of the sickle design with the words hope and change inscribed in green, white, and yellow. The council will convene next month to draw up a resolution to bomb Israel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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