Herman Cain's New 9-0-9 Tax Plan Taxes The World

Funny story written by Alvin Taveras

Saturday, 22 October 2011

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DETROIT - In what has been dubbed the bravest political idea since President Obama promised to change the way politics is done in Washington, Republican presidential hopeful, Herman Cain has revised and redefined his original 9-9-9 tax plan to sound 9-0-9.

Republicans were elated when they first heard of Cain's problem because it would exempt them from paying any taxes whatsoever and even better, tax other countries for a having the privilege of living alongside of America and benefiting for American ingenuity.

Ron Paul and Michelle Bachman both said that they would quit and endorse Cain proudly and call Rick Perry and Mitt Romney big babies who fuss over nothing.

Democrats, on the other hand, laughed at the familiar hook and line sinker message of 'no more taxes.' Some Democratic pundits even consire, considering all these number Cain has people memorizing, that Cain's foreign policy will be an additional four digit number thereby completing a phone number he wants to trademark so he can begin a new Godfather pizzeria.

Democrat Chuck Schumer said, "It's a joke that Cain is revising his tax plan to a sound like a cadence much worse than 9-9-9."

Nevertheless, Cain admits sheepishly that he is only a businessman who is inexperienced as a politician. He also informed the public that he often misspeaks when he means better the better.

Second runner-up Rick Perry is apparently still mad about Mitt Romney laying his hands on his shoulder, which explains why Perry thought Cain's 9-0-9 tax plan was an area code in Massachusetts.

In other related news, White House officials were laughing to the bank. Literally bailing out Wall St. executives for the inconvenience of the Occupy Wall St. protests.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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