Obama Signs Entire Codex Alimentarius Into Law, Outlawing Bullsh-t Holistic Nutritional Supplements

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Sunday, 15 May 2011

image for Obama Signs Entire Codex Alimentarius Into Law, Outlawing Bullsh-t Holistic Nutritional Supplements

President Obama, fresh from his 'I Killed Bin Laden' victory lap around America, has been called out by an Examiner.web "writer" for making the entire text of the Codex Alimentarius, the Necronomicon of food safety guidelines into Federal law.

The following So-called therapies are Bullsh-t...

Anthroposophic medicine
Traditional Chinese medicine
Mind-body medicine
Manipulative and body-based practices
Energy medicine
Biofield therapies
Bioelectromagnetic-based therapies
Portion control and exercise.

Future Editors Of America...

Make sure, when you edit a sentence, that the result MAKES NO SENSE. As an example, you can change 'we pay our hack writers $1.00 per 100 written words' into 'we pay our hack writers $1.00 per written words', 'cause that makes more sense.

"Through the back door, while everyone was focused on the gulf oil spill, Barack Obama gave his signature to legislation (epecifically Executive Order 13544 "Establishing the National, Health Promotion, and Public Health Council), permitting the U.S. Government to outlaw supplements and alternative health treatments," writes James Williams, alleged wellness journalist for 'we pay our hack writers $1.00 per written words' website Examiner.web. "Obama has decided to try to kill the supplement and alternative health industry; all alternative health remedies can be deemed 'unscientific' and not provable by the FDA, which can lead to them being banned."

"Yeah, we'd hate that for that to happen," says anti-health guru Anthony Rosania. "We like it better when the FDA allows unprovable pseudo-pharmacological pills to be sold as medicine."

The Codex Alimentarius (Latin for "don't eat raw shrimp") is a collection of internationally recognized standards, codes of practice, guidelines and other recommendations relating to foods, food production and food safety.

The controversy over the Codex relates to the perception of ignorant people -- like Examiner writers-- that it is a mandatory standard for the safety of food, including vitamin and mineral supplements.

"Even if it were true," continued Rosania, "EO 13544 never even refers to the Codex. It establishes an executive panel who coordinate annual reports, to the President and Congress on public health subjects."

"Alternative health loons are always looking for an excuse to say that the government is trying to apply things like 'Proof of effectiveness' to alternative medicine, those a--holes," Rosania said. "Unfortunately, and contrary to the hemeopathophiles, it does nothing to stop them."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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