David Cameron to re-introduce slavery to boost UK economy

Funny story written by MonkeyInTheBath

Friday, 3 June 2011

image for David Cameron to re-introduce slavery to boost UK economy
The good old days of slavery are back again

There are no doubts that the UK economy is in a precarious position, although politicians disagree on the best approach to resolve the crisis. Prime Minister David Cameron today outlined his recovery plan.

Controversially, Mr Cameron's plans involve bringing back slavery, which has been illegal in the UK since 1833. He explained that Britain had once been a great industrial power, and that northern England had once been full of cotton mills, but now the rest of the world could produce almost anything more cheaply. The UK had lost its competitive edge, he said, but one thing could bring it back - slavery.

According to his plan, the few remaining ships of the Royal Navy are to be sent to the coast of West Africa, where as many locals as possible will be captured and chained up inside the ships. The ships will return to a hero's welcome in Britain where their valuable cargo will help to fix the economy. Mr Cameron said, "These people are hard working slaves, not like those scrounging slaves you see abroad. They will do the job and they won't complain." When asked whether it was cruel to treat people in such a way, he dismissed it as "no worse than public school".

Other Conservative MPs have expressed disapproval, one said that "the last thing Britain needs is more immigrants."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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