Keep Fit At Work for U.K. Employees

Funny story written by grimbo

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

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Medical researchers are recommending that exercise apparati should be introduced into British workplaces to improve employees' health.

U.S. scientists said sedentary habits were one of the greatest dangers to workers health in the 21st Century and portable pedal machines staff can use while working, may well be the solution.

If this measure was to be adopted then all employees would benefit, the researchers argue.

Another problem in the workplace relates to the number of hours some staff stare at a computer screen. Although many employers encourage regular I.T. users to take fresh air breaks every 30 or 40 minutes, this is often not practical especially when they're not working on the ground floor.

The Health and Safety Executive have recommended that employers construct "viewing gallery platforms" on the outside of buildings where staff can go to take in the air and sunshine without leaving the building.

The final suggestion for improving workers health relates to their poor dietary choices, especially when snack machines are in situ. The Local Government Association intends addressing this concern and the need to cut wage costs by introducing a revolutionary new method of paying salaries.

From April 1st, 2011 only 95% of local government wages will be paid in cash, the other 5% will be paid out in health food tokens. (This has been made possible by a prominent retail store pledging to sell cut price health food to local councils). That way, staff might be receiving slightly less wages, but the changes in their diet will vastly improve their long life chances.

If the scheme works, the ratio of hard cash to food tokens in pay packets may be amended accordingly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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