Blood Pressure Diagnosis Errors Cause Rise In Blood Pressure

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

image for Blood Pressure Diagnosis Errors Cause Rise In Blood Pressure
Watch the blood pressure mate!

Doctors and nurses around the country are reporting a sudden rise in patients' blood pressure today.

The news follows hard on the heels of reports that millions of people have been wrongly diagnosed with hypertension.

Said Dr Liz Stethoscope, of Manningtree, Essex: "I've had loads of calls and visits today about this.

"They've all learned that their pressure is normal after all, and they're so angry about having taken tablets they didn't need that their BP's gone through the roof and I've had to prescribe more blood pressure tablets for them!"

The wrong diagnoses are partly explained by "white coat syndrome" - people in hospitals or doctor's surgeries and waiting rooms tend to be anxious, which increases their blood pressure.

Plans to counter this include 24-hour ambulatory monitoring, by which the patient wears a device that measures blood pressure several times a day.

We spoke to one patient who's not happy with the idea.

"Yeah, I wore one of those for 24 hours once," said Colin Cement, of Swanage, Dorset. "You have it wrapped around your arm all day and there's this pump attached to your belt.

"Every couple of hours its starts up and it makes this long farting noise - doesn't matter where you are! Bloody embarrassing - went off in the middle of a bloody job interview!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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