According to Wikileaks, England could have had three votes in the World Cup selection, however, Wikileaks reveals that there was only two bids, with England's bid going to Spain and Portugal instead of England.
"We're lucky we got one," said David Beckham afterwards. "If Sweden and Ireland had not voted for us, we've had no bids at all, and everybody would have realised immediately what a numpty our representative was."
The England representative, who has asked to remain nameless until Wilileaks reveals that he is called Geoff Thompson, had a moment of madness, and forgot that he could vote for his own country.
"At least he wasn't bribed into voting for Russia," said David Cameron, hurriedly adding: "Not that anybody was. Nobody was offered money or incentives to vote for Russia. I certainly wasn't. My business trip there early next year is entirely coincidental."
Mr Thompson, who is no relation of Daley Thompson, was unavailable for comment. Indeed, after the vote casting, he was picked up by a black Lada with blacked out windows to be whisked away from the media. Witnesses on the roadside claim the other passenger was a balding gentlemen with a passing resemblance to Dobby the House Elf from the Harry Potter films, shouting "Spain and Portugal? кретин!"
