News that the Government plans to cut the amount of "XBox Live" points given to the Army to play "Call Of Duty" has caused controversy.
Defence Secretary Liam Fox has warned "The threat from Call Of Duty 2: Modern Warfare is very real. If our troops can't get online to defend this nation as a multi-player unit then I truly fear for our safety."
Harkan McToblerone, M.P. for Upper-Spare Change, said "My son is in the forces. Day after day he defends this country against the terror brought on by the Zombies in "Left 4 Dead 2". If you take away our defence budget and leave these brave men and women without access to hot online multi-player action we'll see our streets flooded with the undead and I, for one, don't fancy having a Zombie gnawing on my left buttock."
The move to cut the Xbox defence budget is one of many services due to suffer under the new cabinet.
Also included are; The Lollipop Allocation Unit - a task force set up to council children fighting over sweeties, The Cheerio Regulation Board - brought in under Labour to ensure that all Cheerios are of a standard size and the British Film Foundation which keeps Danny Dyer in fags and booze by allowing him to make almost 30,000 crap movies a year.
David Cameron & Nick Clegg refused to comment as they were busy spooning in front of the TV while watching a DVD of Pretty Woman.