Written by matthatt

Tuesday, 14 September 2010


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The moon landing. Kennedy's grassy knoll and a book suppository. Cat in a wheelie bin.

You all remember where you were when these monumentous news events occurred and the story broke.

Years from now, people will be talking about that fateful September day when the internet just suddenly stopped working for no apparent reason.

No apparent reason that we know of, until now.

I can reliably report that a young scamp, who was writing and submitting spoof news stories for a popular spoof news website whose name escapes me for the moment, had just penned another intoxicating cocktail of words and memes, flavoured with a pinch of Zeitgeist and then submitted it for perusal, caused the outage of the entire world wide web.

After having successfully shot his literary bolt following another bout of creative onanism, he then proceeded to market said story by posting the link on all the usual places, Facebook so his friends could read it, Twitter, so his followers could read it, but then a new idea struck him, what if he submitted it to Googles search engine, in an effort to get more people reading it? GENIUS.

Or so he thought.

No sooner had he hit submit then the whole thing went. No spoofs, no net, no web, no nothing. Nada! Bubkis, OH SHIT! He texted his girl friend, "cn u c my story X" The answer? "no, cnt get online"

He was in a panic now, the stink of last nights kebab emanating from the sweat on his worried brow. He tried everything, turned the modem off, waited 30 seconds, turned it back on again....oh, the internet is working, Phew! Panic over. It wasn't broken after all, just a small outage.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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