London - (Smoking Gun News): The Russian roulette event propelled Blair to royal funeral stardom as the Great British nation went bonkers with grief.
A witness to the incident said today the Queen was woken in her bed and told to 'hand over everything' to the feckless tosser.
"Of course, he's sexed things up a bit in the book," royal archivist Sir Reggie Thumbscrew commented today, "and the plot is essentially plagiarised from Paradise Lost.
"No way was Prime Monster Blair having a woman run the country's biggest royal protection racket," Thumbscrew added.
"Bad enough with Diana's henchmen planting bombs under government buildings, threatening to nuke the Palace and charging massive percentages for unfinished business.
"That was a PM's job - just look at Margaret Thatcher!"
And in an unsurprising twist Blair's Memoir 'Blagging My Way to Retirement Squillions' was remaindered on its launch day today after bookshops decided it had been 'cribbed off the internet' - much like technical aspects of the WMD Dodgy Dossier.
Camilla Fucker-Proles is 69.