Balmoral - (IOU Mess): The bill for the recent £200,000 holiday binge on a Western Isles boat jolly landed on the Balmoral Castle doormat today.
Royal bankers Cuntts & Co plutonium card services is demanding immediate settlement despite ongoing Insolvency Voluntary Arrangement talks.
These involve attempts to write off nearly £20 million of the Queen's 'toxic' debts from a year long online betting bender.
HM's one-off high tech credit card consists of a swipeable subcutaneous implant in her right thumb.
This has enabled her to gorge on a shopping compulsion using simple thumbprint and SAT NAV-enabled technology.
Today's postal bombshell promises to deliver the orthopaedic skills of the card company's top surgeon in a bid to stop HM's out of control rollercoaster spending.
Last week attempts to place an electronic block on the credit implant failed due to 'unusual solar activity' that messed up related wireless routers.
The credit device is believed to be similar to feline and canine microchips used in pet passports.
A spokesperson for the royal household said today "WTF?"
Camilla Fucker-Bowles is 69.
