London 2012 Olympics threatened by British Gun laws

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 27 August 2010

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The Double Trap will just not be the same

David Cameron has said that he will not be altering the British gun laws ahead of the 2012 Olympics in London. The gun laws outlaw the firing of any kind of firearm other the shotguns on grouse hunts, and prohibit the importing of guns into the country.

"The gun laws have successfully reduced the amount of gun crime on British streets," said Home Office spokesperson, Kevin Pierson. "We have a far lower rate of gun crime than any country that has not got similar laws. Relaxing the law, even for the period of the 2012 Olympics would undo all of the good work that we have done."

International competitors in events such as Skeet and Double Trap are crying discrimination, saying that they cannot bring their preferred weapons into the country.

However, the Olympic committee deny any bias. "British competitors have been forced to train in this event in Finland," said Sebastian Coe, the clean shaven face of the Olympic bid. "They will be unable to bring their guns into the country either."

Wiley competitors have already found ways around these draconian laws.

"I'm going to buy my guns when I get into Britain," said Ulrich Hammerstein, the German Skeet champion. "I have been put in touch with a man on Hammersmith market who can get me what ever I want. I'm thinking of doing the Skeet with an AK47."

Should enough competitors manage to get hold of weapons, the shooting events are to be held in Moss Side, Manchester, where the noise of gunfire will be drowned out by the noise of the gangs shooting each other.

Air-rifle events are unaffected.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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