LONDON-ISTAN: Britain's national tourism agency has issued a raft of etiquette guidelines to educate its snarky, obnoxious, anti-social, abusive citizens on how to welcome "hundreds of foreign visitors" coming to London for the 2012 Summer Olympics.
Explaining the importance of the effects of a friendly welcome on the stagnant economy the agency said it was necessary not to offend visitors with the [otherwise] normally accepted loutish behavior that passes for "British civility"
While many rules deal with the necessity of personal hygiene and grooming and wearing of clean, freshly-washed underwear, paramount importance was given to the following recommendation to Brit women:
"Under no circumstances should British women offer sex in exchange for a pint on first meeting a visitor".
The chief etiquette officer suggested:
"It might be better to throw in a request for a spicy vindaloo, a lamb masala and a basket of poppadoms."
