Written by Philip Wright

Thursday, 12 August 2010

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image for Queen "annoyed" after mic hears private conversation
"Keep smiling for the cameras."

The Queen is said to be "embarrassed" and "annoyed" after she left her microphone on in an incident almost identical to Gordon Brown's, "Bigot" gaffe earlier this year.

Her majesty had just entered her vehicle with Prince Philip and an advisor, following an interview with a female reporter. It was at this point that the microphones picked up the conversation in the car:

Queen: "She was stupid."

Advisor: "Ma'am?"

Queen: "Stupid. Silly girl reporter. Probably only on this planet thanks to a sex offence."

At this point in the tape, we hear a muffled shuffling and a cough from Prince Philip. The tape continues:

Prince Philip: "My balls are chaffed."

Queen : "Philip please... keep smiling for the cameras. What god-forsaken hole are we off to next?"

Advisor: "It's a community centre in..."

Queen: "Oh Jesus..."

Advisor: "We have lunch first, Ma'am. Would you prefer chicken or beef?"

Queen: "Beef but don't add the sachet, it ruins the pot noodles..."

Advisor: "Yes Ma'am."

It is at this point that the audio cuts out when the car pulls out of range.

Despite The Queen's embarrassment, Prince Philip is said to be "highly amused" by the whole incident.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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