The Queen has today sensationally announced that she's going on strike.
The announcement comes after long talks between her Union the RSPCR (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Royals) and the Government.
Standing outside Buckingham Palace the Queen said "This has been a long time coming. My working hours are just crazy at the moment. For example do you know how long the Royal Variety Performance is? I have to sit through this shit and I'm not event allowed to pop out for a cigarette half way through. This is all after I've spent the bloody day shaking hands with a load of plebs that I don't know or care about. I'm sick to death of smalltalk - I have rights too you know."
However, she did concede "The pay's allright I suppose."
The strike will commence on Thursday and it is anticipated that the Queen will picket outside Windsor castle. She is currently trying to drum up support from her fellow royals and was heard referring to Prince Charles as a "bloody scab" after it is thought he refused to join her. Due to the potential for violence, royals crossing the picket line will be brought in by bus.
Support is coming in for the Queen from abroad and King Abdullah II of Jordan posted this message on the Queen's Facebook wall "You go girl - don't let the bastards grind you down, sending you big love from the Jordan posse. Mwah xx p.s. let's catch up soon, you owe me a pint you tightwad lol"
Prime Minister Mr Cameron commented "It's always a shame when talks end in strikes. However we are confident that we can bring a swift end to this deadlock. Obviously the Queen is aware that she doesn't get paid for all the days she doesn't clock in. We sympathise with her situation but I think she will struggle to find a job anywhere else, given her qualifications and the economic climate."
More as we get it.
