London - When "Joy of Sex" author, Dr. Alexander Comfort, re-published his best selling book in the early 80's, he admittedly based a number of his updated theories and recommended practices on interviews and exploits from a formerly anonymous young woman based in London. Though he had protected her identity for nearly 30 years, he was caught reminiscing at a recent author's convention over a story she had told involving bananas and olive oil. "Ah, Quintessa Mudder", Comfort said. "Now there's a woman who knew how to party, and apparently how to remove oil stains from a black cocktail dress at the same time".
Taking action from the slip of Comfort's tongue, local beat writer, Rusty Peters from the Star, jumped into investigative reporting mode and tracked down the reclusive subject of Comfort's fantasies. "And I found her under the assumed name of Queen Mudder, who writes for that glitz page of a news rag called The Spoof".
Quick to deny validity to Peters' claim or to any association with the book author, TheSpoof writer Mudder said, "These are fictitious names you dolt, simpleton, Pulitzer wanna-be. I have no connection to the woman with that actual name."
Pressing the issue further, Peters released other stories offered up by Comfort, including one interview session where the subject (Ms. Mudder) had apparently described a night of passion which included; Goat cheese, salad tongs, chocolate syrup, a parachute harness, wet queen sized cotton comforter and a clothes washer set on an extended spin cycle.
Caught looking up towards the sky with a sheepish grin, Mudder commented quietly, "Yeah, that was a pretty good night. Of course, I'll deny any of this if you print it."
Peters' story published later in the week with names removed, but descriptions of the potentially fictitious subject of Dr. Comfort's reprised book and her exploits were enough to keep people talking in the streets. Two women at a bus stop near Piccadilly and Swallow had just put down the article while the older of the two was heard to say, "I didn't know that you could do that with a zucchini and a microwave".
