In an astonishing twist of events, Susan Boyle's cat Pebbles (PeBo as fanatics insist) last night announced that she is suing SuBo for hurt feelings.
"I was out and about in Blackburn killing some innocent wildlife, when some geezer in a suit came and grabbed me and stuck me in a box," grumbled Pebbles. "Next thing I know, I'm in London at some mystery woman's house. I had to take up bus driving just to get me out of the house. My feelings are deeply hurt. I must admit that at least I don't have fanatics running after me trying to bless me, so London does have some advantages."
SuBo fanatics aren't happy.
"We have 25,000 blessed Pebbles 'buttons' still to give away to innocent people on the streets of Blackburn. What are we going to do with those?" moaned a couple of fanatics.
"I didn't know people could sue each other in Scotland?" rambled some typical deluded American fanatic. "I thought everyone was nice to each other, went hunting all the time, and took tea with the Queen in the afternoon?"
"All discussion on this matter is banned. Writing semi-pornographic stories about Susan and anything in trousers is fine though," said a chief fanatic.
PeBo's lawyer, Mr. Pudd E. Kat, was unwilling to comment.
