Susan Boyle going into jewelry business

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Sunday, 9 May 2010

image for Susan Boyle going into jewelry business
The Holy Mother Herself

Susan Boyle is going into the jewelry business. Well, actually, it's the Rosary business. She recently received a very special Rosary made for her from Catholic fans around the world.

There is even a little piece of a bandage, complete with blood, from some famous Catholic, entwined somehow within the Rosary.

Susan decided, after receiving this precious gift, that she will have a number of unsolicited gifts, such as electronic picture frames,(sent to her from some crazed fanatics), melted down. She will then have a group of 'healthy' Christians, shape the residue into beads.

These beads will be made into Rosaries to be sent to devout Catholics worldwide, who cannot afford to buy a Rosary of their own. Susan said she will entwine some of her plucked eyebrows into the beads in order that they have special meaning for the recipients.

Miss Boyle said that she felt the need to turn unwanted gifts from fanatics (who are now well known as The Red Scarf Brigade) into something that could be treasured by the less fortunate, in a 'holy' way rather than sell them on eBay.

Susan is quoted as saying, "Och! Crap keeps landin' on ma doorstep every day. A just canna be doin' wi' it. Them folk wi' the red scarves must be havin' mair money than sense. Still, as long as A can help fellow Catholics, as well as other fellow Christians, out along the way, A will continue to do so te the best o' ma ability."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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